WORCESTER, MA—”Like everyone else, I got sucked in at first,” said the Rev. Paul Doherty, the pastor of the church, who admitted he had once kissed the tears streaming from the eyes of the 5-foot wooden altarpiece. “But now it’s just too much—crying in the morning when I come in, crying during baptisms, crying, crying, crying all the time.”

Virgin Mary Statue Crying For No Good Reason – The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

oh Onion, so many layers…