Bin Laden Shooter Rob O’Neill Mistakenly Attacked By Street Thugs Seeking To Collect Debt From Neighbor

Mr. O’Neill used silent hand-to-hand combat tactics to individually disarm them of their weapons.  Once Mr. O’Neill had taken down the five men and secured his home, he brewed a pot of coffee and called the police station.

“Those kids didn’t have their mission planned out properly and hit the wrong target. I hated to break their wrists and dislocate each of their knees like I did, but it was necessary in order to immobilize the invasion. I hope they get the money that is owed to them once they get out of jail and decide to live better lives. My main concern is getting my back door fixed. Those boys really did a number on the door jamb,” O’Neill stated.

That is freaking hilarious.