Hmmm…

That’d be tough.

Let’s start with image and move on to substance.

Be human in public more. (Study up if you’re feeling all Willard Romney about it mofo, and don’t pick your tutors from people paid to tell you how cool you are.)

Stop talking to the American Public like you were a professor lecturing a bunch of freshman. Some of us are even, gasp, smarter than your smart ass and even if we weren’t you’re not making any new friends that way. Likable pwns smart. Don’t like it? Too bad. It’s too late to get out of politics.

Start making smooth references to growing up in Hawaii and attending college in the New York City. Those are cool places. Remind us you are cool without being a dick about it or coming off as someone who thinks they are cooler than the average person in middle america. Those people are never half as cool as they think they are.

Stop making nice with Wall Street. It’s a lot of money but not a whole hell of a lot of registered Democratic leaning registered voters. A lot of Democratic or persuadable voters don’t even like those guys. Do the math.

Stop making a show of kow-towing to unChristian Conservatives. They’ll never vote for you anyways and the rest of us hate them for being an even bigger bunch of sanctimonious pricks than the progressive left.

The next time that there is a national disaster get your ass there. Roll your sleaves up and help for more than just a few hours. Stick around and run the country from there for a few days. Work alongside the red cross and talk to people. Don’t mention how you are missing little events with your family. Your family is super lucky in the grand scheme of things and you should probably avoid rubbing your happy, well provided for family life in other people’s faces. (BP Oil Spill, Ahem!)
Stop reaching over the aisle. You suck at it and it just makes them look more competent than you are.

Start making small, incremental changes through executive orders that directly effect or satisfy parts of your base.

Do something concrete about cleaning plastic and petroleum out of waterways. Create partnerships with educational institutions to research ways to make it effective and perhaps in profitable.

Put some good PR people on making the EPA a hero to the middle class.

Restore our rails and plaster the catchy name of the signature job creating, small business and large scale commerce facilitating program all over it.

Do away with the tax payer money wasting practice of locking up non-violent, non-property-damaging offenders and start sending people to rehab for narcotics and writing tickets for weed. Take a real look at why recidivism has flipped in our prison system over the last 40 years. Bring back job training and rehabilitation. Justify it with all of the short and long terms savings to the tax payer as well as the increased safety and security to the public on the street when people are released from jail to actual options.

Make higher education accessible to everyone who qualifies to attend and increase continuing education, especially in modern job training.

Stop talking about the economy. We all know you mean banks and wall street and we’re all a lot more concerned with whether there is newconstruction, the success of small business, regional commerce and middle class jobs.

When I say,”jobs,” realize that anything that causes you to work more than fourty hours a week to just barely cover your rent and not even buy food or mandated health care yet DOES NOT COUNT.

Jobs, jobs, jobs, JOBS. Job training. Programs to facilitate small farms and family run business. Bring back main stret in small towns. Jobs, jobs, jobs. New manufacuring jobs in new industries (try supporting green jobs in companies that don’t suck!!!) in old manufacuring towns. Jobs, jobs, jobs, JOBS, J-O-B-S!!!!!!